Like, obviously a girl's experience on Tinder is vastly different from mine. The benefit of being a girl is that you obviously match on everyone you right-swipe on. Then it's THEIR job to chat you up and somehow magically get your number. How great is that? So effortless. That said, here are your right-swiping options (as sent in from a friend I met on Tinder!):
"Self Employed - Translation: Drug Dealer"
"This is my piece. And this is my side-piece"
Look, I'm sure there are a number of perfectly awesome guys on Tinder named David, right?