Thursday, September 3, 2015

Sexual Illiteracy

There's an old programmer joke that says there's 10 kinds of people. People who know binary and ...
I should buy and wear this shirt and try to get a girl's number in a bar just to see if it is still possible.
But similarly, my room-mate B and I are both super sick and unable to even think about dating and one of the things we did one night while wishing we had working vascular systems was pull up FetLife and create a female character "Fat Kitty" who is the epitome of all people on FetLife. Fetlife (or FL for those in the know) is Facebook for people who are into being hit with stuff or CBT (cock and ball torture) or like, really anything you've seen in 50 Shades of Grey but TIMES A THOUSAND.

It's a really "interesting" group of people and every hacker would naturally troll them constantly except there's no point because you can really only troll people who have an inflated ego. You can't troll the local Dungeons and Dragon's club because at no point are they unaware that they're the local D&D club, ya know?

Anyways, in all my interactions with dates I have learned one thing about people's sexual abilities in bed. There are only 10 types of people. People who would pretty much do anything their partner wants to do, and people who won't.

If you are dating one of those people who would pretty much do anything and you're not 19 years old, then you can expect that they've at one point had anal sex, worn a strap-on, know how to give head, and have opinions on what kind of rope is best used to tie someone up with.

"I'm too old to have inhibitions but I still do for some reason..."

(Note: 10 is 2 in binary).

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