Thursday, July 9, 2015

Things nobody does and things everyone does

"Basically Allison is a tramp."
I'm going to put this out there: NOBODY USES CONDOMS. Ask your friends who actually get laid when they last did, and you can watch them squirm. When I was beta testing this blogpost a female friend of mine said "actually, I like condoms, because they make it so much cleaner for me, like the next day I'm not always wondering if I peed my pants." She is the massive exception though.

Everyone BUYS condoms. Condoms are a cool product. They come in lots of colors, flavors, and sizes, and in neat foil packaging. Even the boxes are cool. But nobody really USES condoms. The actual thing inside a condom wrapper could be a tiny sleeping centipede as far as most people are concerned, but they'll never know cause they'll never open any of them.

Just like in computer security, the future is not better prevention, but just better monitoring. When you go for the free test down the road at the gay clothing store, you get automatically signed up to a weird social network online, which will allow you to present your test status to people also on that network. Maybe Tinder should hook up with them and offer it as part of your profile? Since we, as a species, are not going to use condoms, we might as well solve the problem some other way... I mean, technically I solve this problem by being a geeky computer scientist, which is the only 100% STD preventative humans have invented, but I think we can do better overall. Or at least Allison can.


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