Saturday, July 18, 2015

"The Conversation"

Okay, so I think at some point someone should hire a skywriter to point out to both men and women that if you have not had The Conversation where you both explicitly decide that you are exclusive, then you are not exclusive.

I made this helpful Venn Diagram for the many confused people out there.
I mention this partially because every guy on Earth seems to think my friend B is exclusive with them, which is amusing to me, but annoying to her, and also because I was at a party recently and a female friend is going on and on about a lot of things, one of which is this guy she is in love with.

We'll call him "Randal" and he's been chasing her for about 11 years - she's the one who got away! We all have one. It's like the Dawson's Creek phenomenon or something.

Let's not fool ourselves, in real life Joey ends up with an investment banker who is secretly gay, not her high school friend.

So they've been texting and secretly being emotional as all hell for years, except our friend finally got divorced and he finally broke up with his girlfriend and now he's dating and not "closing the deal" and having kids with her like he said he wanted to for the last decade.

And so last week on the way home from a date of her own with a guy she hated because he did nothing but complain about Miami the whole time, she pulled up in her car next to him and a woman. He called her two minutes later to say it was just a friend, but she doesn't believe him.

So Charlie and I were both like "WHO CARES". He's either allowed to date or he's not. And if you're on a date, odds are he's allowed to date too. Charlie's perspective: "What you're really mad about is that you had a shitty date, not that he was on a date. You were three shots and two jokes away from having sex on your date, and you didn't and that's not Randal's fault."

While we're on the subject, let me point out that this hilarious article is hilarious:

I would say you should read that article, and then read this Tumblr blog from the very beginning to see what reality is like. Also because it's some of the best writing on the Internet. A touching Dostoevsky-esque wandering through dominance, submission, infidelity and heroin. She's a real person, and it's all real.

No comments:

Post a Comment