Thursday, March 26, 2015

Sometimes the words are irrelevant.

This week a girl said to me "It's not stalking when I like you too", and in retrospect I think you can analyse words too much. Sometimes the words people say are simple and direct and sometimes they are simple and direct and have no meaning whatsoever. 

In fact, I personally think the later option is the one people usually are using. Dealing with people became a lot easier once I realized that almost everything that came out of people's mouths was chaff - hiding the real message which would come later.

For example, what is the message here?

The subtext is: "I'm Incredible... in bed!"

Let me maybe illustrate a little further with examples. A girl (woman really, but I like to be true to the blog title) will often say to you something like this "I'm not looking for anything serious" or "I'm not sure what I want" or "I'm not doing anything exclusive right now. I'm into NSA relationships - no strings attached". Literally one of my friends (who reads this blog, yes!) was saying all these things to me the other day and then went on one Tinder date and was instantly on the relationship train-ride, like a kid at Disney World. (She recently broke up, but that's a different story).

Look, even if someone's conscious mind believes it, that doesn't mean it's their true feelings on the matter. Women say these things because they think guys want to hear them. That exact same person will probably invite you to meet their parents, or play-act at looking at apartments in Manhattan with you, or find a way to demonstrate how good they are at kids when you're nearby, or any number of things that send the exact opposite message!

It is not because they are confused. It may be just that humans are rarely in control of their own strategic actions. You don't get to choose when you're hungry, and so I'm not sure why people think you get to choose anything in the relationship arena either. People have a lot more in common with Ants than the super-conscious machine-AI's coming after us.

But that said, in the meantime there's no excuse for this kind of Tinder profile, which I hope you'll find as amusing as I did:

Everything about Lindsey is wrong, from how her picture has her attached at the crotch to a guy, to how she cannot write a single word without some sort of grammatical disaster.

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