Saturday, March 7, 2015

decisions decisions

I had a girl email me why porn is a bad thing recently. And today, on a whim and partially because of that email, I went to the matinee showing of Fifty Shades of Grey. Me and the grandmas were sitting there watching Anastasia Steele go through the motions of being introduced to BSDM. 

It was a bit choppy as a movie, I have to admit, even though I'm a huge fan of the book. I'd be an even bigger fan if they had just called the books "Twilight BSDM Fanfic" which was as honest a title as they could have had. But either way - choppy though it was a FILM it was great as a PORN. 

In case you're curious, here's what she sent me:

Personally I think worrying about how porn effects people's sexuality and how they view women is like worrying about how air being available effects people's breathing. At some level sex is a skill you can learn. You can, and this is good news for the fellow geeks reading this, study and become better at being intimate. 

The BSDM world is hugely interesting, but what I find most interesting about it is that it is, at its heart, a very conservative place. Like all places online it is predictably about men trying to hook up, and women trying to find relationships. It is a resolutely simian equation that runs through all human relationships. A bedrock foundational math that can be fought by counter-social impulses only so much.

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