Friday, October 10, 2014

Divorce and guy coffee

So when the people in my local social group find out I'm getting divorced, I often get invited for coffee's and pulled aside for quiet conversations, and then their own marital problems get dished out.

Which is totally fine - frankly, people need to know they are not alone in all walks of life. I don't know what is more scary: Realizing you are not a unique snowflake, or actually BEING a unique snowflake.

But let's just say that yes, most guys over coffee will talk about how they get hit on all the time by women and wish their wives were interested in sex more than 3 times a month, and also wish they didn't have to suggest it all the time. These guys are in pain - they have a basic need that is just not being met and they are trapped in the system unable to do anything honorable about it. There's a million and one blogs about how to date as a single guy, but basically nothing for these guys, who are basically EVERY guy.

I don't know that many guys who are at all happy with their marriages. This must be true for women as well, but they don't dish to me as much. However, I have noticed that ALL of my married friends (both male and female) have an encyclopedic knowledge of the local swinger's clubs. Not sure what that means!

When I asked a female friend about this (who is also divorced) she said that the female version of this was "I want to want to. But I just don't want to have sex with my husband!" Fair enough.

What it comes down to is that if you talk to a sex worker, they say "Yes, we see basically every married guy in the neighborhood come through our door." Maybe legalizing sex work will be the next domain of liberalization after gay marriage and pot?

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