Thursday, September 11, 2014

Date screwups and you

So a few days ago I was driving a date home, and  . . . wait, let me back up. I live in a residential neighborhood in Miami Beach that has a number of elderly residents who are politically active. That means they attend all the commission meetings (identical in all respects to an episode of Parks and Recreation). They've managed to declare the area I'm in as a "historical district" which makes it hard do any work on your house. Keep in mind every house in South Beach is below flood zone, which makes any kind of historical designation nonsensical.

In any case, at one of these meetings I opened up on the mic and said to the assembly that "Palm View is not a retirement village".

Ever since I said that, locals have been having their dogs leave me presents on the area just outside my gate, passive aggressively.  So this night after running into my house to get something real quick right before driving her home I went back to the car and stepped in one of their presents. This smelled up the whole car immediately, and it's hard to work "I think I stepped in dog poo" into your post-date conversation unless you are a lot wittier than I am. So I left it unsaid, which probably was even worse!

I don't have any tinder tips today, but I figured I'd post this as a note about the sorts of bullshit guys tend to fail at when dating. :>

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