Tuesday, July 22, 2014


Ok, so dating is "new to me". But here's what I've gathered:

1. lol is girlspeak for "ask me out!"

2. liking a Tinder moment is what you do when you want to be contacted, but you can't make the first move for some reason.

3. According to my (admittedly not huge) sample set of Tinder-dates, I am always the first person any girl I meet from Tinder has ever gone out with from Tinder. Or perhaps I am really gullible to believe that. For example, if Tinder was not working for you, why are you on Tinder every ten minutes? Is it that addictive to rate guys and see how their text-message game is? All girls are swamped by guys reaching out to them, as far as I can tell, but maybe the actual "let's go out" portion is scary?

Also, a lot of girls do this "pose with my mom" Tinder shot (see below). Sometimes they do it as their first Tinder image. As mystifying as the "pose with my ex-boyfriend" shot. However still better than girls who pose with a young kid and then write "the child is my niece" as their info. Just choose a different picture!

The ever popular up-nose with-my-mom-picture. Should have put "I am the one on the left" in her info field.

I think a good Tinder-dating motto is that you should really leave people better than you found them. When you take that pressure off yourself to "score" (or in female terms "find a serious relationship") and are just there to have a good time, what's so scary about it? Is meeting new people that painful?

I spoke to a CIA guy once and we were talking about recruiting and he said "A lot of times yes, the people you are recruiting are the scum of the earth. But you can find a way to connect with literally anybody! There's going to be some aspect of that person's personality that you like - some piece of them that is interesting and worth learning about. Just do that, and let the rest work itself out." 

All I'm saying is: If he can hang at a campfire in Tikrit and connect with a goat-herder, you can hang at a bar in South Beach with an accountant and probably still have a pretty good time. Honestly though, don't go to a bar. The best Tinder-dates are anywhere else, as far as I can tell.

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