Sunday, July 6, 2014

Things You Do

Pictures 


Do some basic curation of your picture. I dunno why this is hard. They have the world's simplest interface. There's no excuse for a picture of yourself with your ex boyfriend as your cover picture. Maybe I'm missing something and you're indicating that you want a threesome?

"I was once in a relationship, but now I'm on Tinder"


Also, as a note, pictures of you with your aged grandmother or mother are probably not ideal? And I'm mystified by the number of pictures of girls with TRULY MASSIVE DOGS where the dog is most of the picture. Hey, we get that you love your dog. Guys, however, are not looking to have sex with you because you have a dog. Big dogs are like "guy replacements". Small dogs are neurotic fashion accessories. It's hard to win with a picture of your dog unless you're super hot and artistic.

Here's an example of how to do it right, assuming you must have your giant dog in the picture:

"I'm super hot, artistic and happen to have a dog."




Phrasing

The most common thing girls say who want to get "left swiped":

1. I like to travel.
Yes, everyone likes to travel. Vacations are awesome.

2. I'm not looking for a hookup.
This is what people say who are unable to utilize basic girl skills to transform a hook-up into a multi-night event and then into a relationship. Have some confidence in your skillset!

3. "I'm looking for a gentleman".
If this is code for "I want to get paid for sex" then you are dialed in perfectly to what guys are hearing when you say this. But that's what backpage.com is for. Not Tinder.


E-Stalking


Tinder gives you friends on Facebook that you share with people, and you have a picture of that person and their first name. It's pretty easy, if you like someone, to go to your shared friend, scroll down their friend's list, and find out more about the person. So don't be surprised when someone on Tinder manages to know who you are! 


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